The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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