I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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