wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Randomize