some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
