Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
