I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
