We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
