wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
