One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
