What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
