I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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