I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
