yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
