I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
barbara walters just said penis...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
