Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
