He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
how does that bad decision feel?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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