I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
