thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
