how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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