after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
