If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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