sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This is my gift to your gina
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
