i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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