Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
