I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
