Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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