all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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