I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
