he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
