Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
