we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
