I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize