Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
