Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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