Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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