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I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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