My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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