I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize