you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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