Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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