Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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