someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You need a sexual gate keeper
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
