Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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