i permit you to call me
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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