im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize