She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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