he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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