I want to have your abortion
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How does it feel to date your dad?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
