Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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