Where did you get a picture of my penis
Define "chronic" masturbator.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
