Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
