He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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