you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize