the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
