when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize