I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
