Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
