I love black thongs
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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