honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
