But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
