Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
