Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he puts the penis in happiness.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
