Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize