just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
